Monday, October 21, 2019

All Of Me by Andrea Smith

Title: All Of Me
Author: Andrea Smith
Genre: BBW RomCom
Release Date: October 21, 2019 
Cover Design: Flirtation Designs
USA Today Best Selling Author Andrea Smith brings you her hilarious debut BBW Romance!
Dirk Sexton is a thirty year old playboy with a conscience.
He wants the sex without feeling the guilt of his meaningless one night stands.
Deciding to take a chance, he finally takes the leap only to realize that he may just chosen the wrong sister.
Autumn Dey, Dirk's newest employee at his radio station, may be Summer Dey's twin sister, but they are definitely not identical. Summer is tall and svelte . . . and well Autumn isn't.
When Summer starts dating her sister's gorgeous new boss, Dirk Sexton, Autumn slides herself into the friend zone, admiring from afar.
Until, that is, Autumn's alter ego (and 900 operator "Ramona") discovers Dirk's true desires.
Will love truly conquer all?
Scene:  Radio Station WQRK
Autumn 'The Night Hawk' Dey has been contracted to do some promos for a product called Slather® (a longevity cream for men) on her late night call-in show.  When the male narrator calls in sick . . . well, the promo must go on!
So her boss, Dirk Sexton, fills in for the male narration
         We were still waiting on Craig Freeman to arrive before we could start. With fifteen minutes to spare, Autumn repeated her lines until they ended up making no sense. By this point, I had already memorized the male lines for no other reason than to support her.
         “Mr. Sexton? You have a call on line four. Craig Freeman.” I heard Bridget say over the intercom.
         Winking at Autumn in a last-minute attempt to encourage her, I picked up the hand-held receiver and brought it to my ear.
         “Dirk Sexton.”
         “Hi Mr. Sexton,” said a hoarse and nasally sounding voice that was more than just raspy but practically on the verge of giving up on life. “I won’t make it today for the recording. I’ve caught a bug and seem to be losing my voice.”
         “Right. Well, Mr. Freeman, please take care of yourself and get back to us in perfect health.” On the outside, I seemed calm and collected. On the inside? I was ready to punch someone.
         From the corner of my eye, I saw Autumn turn to face me, practically giddy from the news. She was nervous and this was a reprieve for her.
         Sorry, buttercup. A deadline is a deadline.
         “Change of plans, everyone,” I announced, shrugging my jacket off and heading for the soundproof studio. "I'm doing the male part. Freeman's down with laryngitis."
         I must admit, I took a little sadistic pleasure in watching Autumn pale. I was a nice guy but I wasn’t losing money because a virus decided to fuck with my business.
         No sir.
         “Um, Dirk?” She blinked. I smirked.
         “Autumn?” I answered with a low octave making sure to use eye contact. "Is there a problem?"
         She blushed which I found kind of cute and then waved her hand dismissively, “Oh, what the hell. Let’s lube it up, boss.”
         The entire crew choked on her words and I just laughed like a lunatic.
         With everything set up, we both stood at the microphones, our headsets on, Neil would dub in the seductive porno sounding background music after we'd nailed the script. We looked at one another, with our scripts in hand, desperately trying not to laugh. Time was money and we weren’t stand-up comedians.
         Watching for Neil's hand signals, I brought my eyes to Autumn and watched as she began the narrator voice-over, using a deeper timber than her usual.
         Go time, baby.
“Ladies, you own the world. You are a superhero and you are a mother. You are the boss and you are the doting friend. But there are some things you cannot control. Until now.”
         My turn.
         I looked Autumn straight in the eyes and uttered words that in any other circumstance would have my balls by the HR vice.
“Baby, is it something I’m doing wrong?” Said no Sexton ever.
         “Oh, no, Phil, you’re perfect. It's just sometimes I think we need a little Slather®. You know, honey, to make our intimate moments last . . . longer." ( Said no woman who had my dick within fucking distance, ever.)
         “Let me get that for you.” (Phil, Phil, Phil…it’s all in the mind, brother.)
         “Ahhhh, you really are the best!” (Now, that sounded familiar).
         Again, Autumn brought out the narrator voice and finished it off.
“Slather® is always there, for those moments too intimate to control. Available at your local pharmacy."
         "Cut" Neil hollered from outside of the booth. "Brilliant! You guys nailed it first take. Want to try copy number two as long you're on a roll?" Neil asked.
         I looked over at Autumn to see if she was game. "Why the hell not," she said with a wide grin. "Are you up to it Dirk?"
         I gave her a side long glance. "Always." And we both sat there in a fit of laughter while Neil scrambled to get up the script for Slather® 2. We were like two teenagers who had just said “vagina” for the first time.
True story.
Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
Laid by James
Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones
Dirty Deeds by AC/DC
I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
My Generation by The Who
Crimson & Clover by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot
Born This Way by Lady Gaga
Fight Song by Rachel Platten
F**kin Perfect by Pink
Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys
When a Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge
Love Stinks by J. Geils Band
Only Fools Fall in Love by Life of Dillon
Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
Andrea Smith is a USA Today and Amazon Best-Selling Author of the G-Man Series! She has a wicked sense of humor. No matter the genre, she is able to infuse laughter throughout.
She self-publishes Contemporary Romance, Romantic Suspense, and Sensual Romance with a paranormal twist. She also writes RomCom, New Adult Romance, and has recently collaborated with Author Eva LeNoir on three M/M Romances.

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