Devastate by Marley Valentine

Title: Devastate 

Author: Marley Valentine

Genre: Contemporary Romance Standalone

Release Date: May 25, 2017
Cover Designer: PopKitty

They always say to expect the unexpected. Little did I know the unexpected also meant the unthinkable. 

No longer a wife or a mother, what was once a full and meaningful life was now obliterated; leaving me with nothing but darkness in its place. 

Until him. 

Blazing bright and determined to bring me back to life, Lior came knocking on darkness' door. Gentle, yet fierce; he was armed in warmth and healing. 

He was powerful, persistent and prepared for war. 

I just don't know if I'm willing to fight or ready to fall.

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

Wow, this was so worth the wait.  It was so emotional and poignant, yet there was a beauty to it that was so heart warming.

Evie has been to hell and back, experiencing loss and heart break that is unbearable and paralysing. Evie is barely surviving and is certainly not living.  Everyone around her is kept at arms length while she drifts from day to day.

When Lior first meets Evie he feels something for her and is determined to break through her walls but Evie keeps herself and her past locked up tight.  Lior doesn't push too hard and is gentle and patient with her.

The prologue for this book definitely set the tone.  It was heart breaking and required lots of tissues.  Evie's grief and feelings are so palpable and you experience every one of them.  It was an incredibly beautiful read.

Evie,

Months and months have passed, and I have tried to crawl my way out of the depths of hell. I’ve tried to return to the land of the living, and be the man you need me to be; the pillar of strength you deserve. But, broken hearted and beaten down, I’m a pathetic excuse of a man. There is no glass half full, or the possibility of sunshine after the rain. There’s only darkness. Strangling me from the inside out; there will only ever be darkness.

With your tiny breaths filling the room, I watch your body rise and fall while you sleep. I allow myself to notice how much you’ve changed and let the blame seep into my pores. My eyes rake over your body. Small and petite, you curl yourself around a pillow; the pillow that has become the stand in body, to hold, hug and provide comfort. The dark circles under your eyes, the way your collarbones protrude, I’ve pushed you to look the exact same way that I feel. Lifeless.

I’ve sunk into the depths of hell, plagued by an eternity of nothingness, I am painfully aware that if we continue this way, I will drag you down. The emptiness that consumes me, will consume us, and the love we shared will be a distant memory. With time, it will fade and you and I will be hollow, dull versions of the people we once were. Passing like two ships, we won’t touch, we won’t talk and we will forget how to live. This hole in my heart is big, slicing me in two. Each rip, more painful than the last. The pain is crippling and my God is it constant. Like dead weight, I carry it around with me every fucking day and I can’t do it anymore. I thought I could survive the destruction, that together we would heal, but here and now, it’s just like a knife digging deeper into my wounds every damn day and I don’t know if I can handle it any longer.

Watching you last night for the millionth time, I realized this was the end. The end of us, and the end of me. I can no longer stand to see you sneak off into our daughter’s room when you think I’m asleep. I know you hide your pain from me, and it does nothing but make it worse that I can’t make it better for you. There’s nothing left of me, and my heart doesn’t know how to deal with watching your body shake as you try to stifle the sobs. With her clothes and toys scattered all over her handmade quilt, I watch you; my wife, break down, and I watch your heart shatter into a million more pieces than the night before. And the piece of shit that I am can’t do anything. Won’t do anything? I’m not even sure of which one it is.

What I do know is that my beautiful, courageous and loving Evie is falling apart, and I can’t save you. I can’t hold you, I can’t wipe your tears and I can’t tell you it’s going to be better. Empty. Void. Exhausted. I’m a shell of the man I used to be, I’m no longer me. I’m no longer a father, and I’m no longer a husband. I am a failure. And for that, I am so, so sorry.

You are more than my first love. You are more than my last love…

You are my GREAT love.

Evie, My Love. My Heart. My Soul. My Everything.

Forgive Me. Remember Me.

Love Me.

Always.

James

Marley Valentine comes from the future. Living in Sydney, Australia with her family, when she's not busy writing her own stories, she spends most of her time immersed in the words of her favourite authors.

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